Hey guys! I know that this topic might is a sensitive one and I'm sure some people will disagree with what I'm saying because they have made different experiences. Please notice that this is just my personal view on the dating differences between Germany and America and this view is a result of the experiences I've made there so far. Every one of you is welcome to share their opinions, views, and experiences on this as well! There is no true or false and no better or worse.
Also, I realize that sexuality is a topic that not everyone enjoys talking about publicly. I personally believe that it is important to talk about this topic and that there is no reason to feel ashamed or to give sex a negative connotation. It is one of the most natural things in the world and it is important to know about the consequences, risks, and dangers that come with it but also the positive sides about it.
Hi there! My name is Felicia (Feli) and I’m from Munich, Germany. I’m 24 and I just finished a 6-months-long internship in Cincinnati, Ohio. I'm currently in Germany but I'll go back to Cincinnati in August 2018 to get my master's degree.
In my videos, I am talking about cultural differences between America and Germany, things I like and dislike about living there, and other experiences that I have made during my time in the States.
Let me know what YOU would like to hear about in the comments below. DANKE :)
Follow my instagram: @german_girl_in_america
Americans and their SMALL TALK: https://youtu.be/GM0oNLyfKLU
Sorry that it took so long for me to upload a new video! I've noticed that my English skills are fading away a little, I haven't spoken English in over 3 months 😱 I hope it isn't too exhausting to listen to me and you guys still enjoy the video :)
Just ran into your channel! Super interesting haha Having been raised in the US (born in Brazil), I can totally relate to having felt like I need to conform to some sort of game. Germans really got dating right!
I was in Germany for 5 years from 1987 to 1992. I find German girls a lot more shy nowadays than when I was there. I did enjoy splitting the check especially when it was something she wanted to do. I don't like dating American women because they are a lot more manipulative than German girls. YES, dating here is one big head game I loved Germany, the people, and it's cultures.
Sweetie you're right..but trust me, it's way worse for a man In the U.S. I could write a book on why this is. It's very complicated and involves a lot of sociology and so on. You might like dating in Germany better...but compared to men in the U.S...women in the U.S. still do have it pretty easy. . It's much harder for a guy in the U.S. For men..the U.S. is one of the hardest countries in the world to date in.
I'm super jealous of only needing to have "the talk" if you want to go non-monogamous. How hard is it to not date or have sex with other people for the 3 or so weeks it might take to decide if you really like a person? Monogamy becoming non-default puts a bad taste in my mouth. +1 to Deutschland
But different standards apply of course if you met them in a bar or club and are obviously just having a one night stand.
You are spot on when it comes to Sex Education in American schools. It is extremely deficient.
I went to one of the finest public schools in the country some 50 years ago. We were taught in 6th grade, then in Junior High School (a/k/a middle school), then in High School about reproduction. The biology of reproduction was presented to us many times. Unfortunately, the school did not teach us anything about sex, orgasms, how physiological the girl's or boy's body functions when they come of age, etc.
Heck, there is still a percentage of ladies who think they urinate through their vaginas. The TV program "Orange is the New Black" did a scene where the women discussed the issue recently- seriously.
Keep the great videos coming.
I personally do not quite understand why _some_ people are opposed to "chivalry" (no, not the medieval definition 😅), in any amount or form. Some even take offense. I myself was brought up on the notion of generally being kind and exert those gestures we often lump in the category of "chivalry", towards _all_ people. So I feel many if not most of these knee-jerk reactions of taking offense (offense is _taken,_ it can not be given), interpreting the gesture as belittlement etc - could be avoided, if people were more willing to hold off drawing their conclusions until they have more than just a single data point and their own imagination filling in the blanks, to base their conclusions on. Before accusing someone of a pattern of behavior, give yourself a chance to observe if that pattern even exists. Eg. if we're on a date and I open the door, take your coat and pull out the chair for you - before accusing me of thinking either you as an individual, or maybe even the entire demography of your gender, is incapable of doing these things on your own - maybe observe my behavior in a social setting involving more people than you. When you see me taking my buddy's coat, holding the door for my dad or a stranger, pulling out the chair for a female friend or colleague - it might sum up to a vastly different picture. The sum of my gestures _towards you_ may culminate a larger sum, but that doesn't mean I belittle you - it means _I like you_ and appreciate your company, more than I do an average stranger I'm not engaging socially with. I don't do things "for you" or assist you in something that you're doing, because I think you can't do that on your own - and frankly that's quite a biased and irrational conclusion; to "get there" you need to forgo a whole slew of significantly less complex and more likely conclusions. I don't do those things from a basis of thinking that you are incapable, less capable or that you _shouldn't be doing it_ (I actually approach new people from a position of giving all "the benefit of doubt", so if anything my thoughts of your capabilities are more likely rather the opposite). I do those things because _I want to contribute,_ towards your well-being and sense of a positive experience. And honestly, contributing directly or indirectly to the benefit or comfort of others, in a nice/positive/productive manner, makes me feel better about my self and my sense of self worth. Its a nice little bonus, but first and foremost I just enjoy and prefer being a positive, contributory element to someone's experience of the world.
TL;DR Just because you most definitely _can_ do something all on your own, does not mean you _have to_ do them on your own, or otherwise people view your capacities as lacking or inferior. Many people simply enjoy dispersing positive contributions and gestures towards others, especially those individuals whom they appreciate. So before accusing someone of belittling you through their actions, observe their interactions with others.
I've dated both American and German girls and everything you said is spot on correct. It's also the reason why I'd rather date a German girl than an American girl. I can't stand the games, idealistic expectations or the bs.
P.S. Great points our America's terrible sex education system, mine was exactly how as terrible as you described. Keep up the great videos and yes definitely make the video on the differences between sexuality in Germany vs. USA! Danke Schoen!
For a guy the U.S. is one of the worst countries in the world to date in. Trust me it's true. This is why more and more men are talking to women in other countries and totally boycotting American women.
I want to add 1 thing rather important for you to know, Germans are rather educated and open about sex but there are some things you should definitely consider, they are conservative and if you're known to sleep with a lot of people you will have a really hard time finding a partner. (except you move very far away and lie about it) Race mixing, especially with Africans is the absolute social death sentence, it's promoted to engage in "diversity" in nearly every commercial or state TV program but the statistics are absolutely clear on that. (except very young girls from abusive progressive households or extremely left wing feminists or neo Marxists nobody will appreciate it in the slightest) ...it has a reason why Heidi Klum lives and works in the USA...
+Jim Fandango it's one of the reasons so many rapes occoured in the last years, those "people" have nearly zero chance to find a woman. Germans will go a long way to not be called racist but cutting ties with all family and friends is a bit of a stretch only to be rewarded with mongrel low IQ offspring that ultimately hates your guts.
When you meet people in bars, you are dating people who meet people in bars. A pretty girl gets attention in a bar or club. That is her experience. And she knows nothing about "sex education" in high schools because she didn't go to high school here. Kind of scary that you expect the government to tell you about your sex life. Wait until Muslims take over your sex education in schools.
Good for you honey, you keep your sex education methodology in your world and we will keep our sex education the way we wish it to be in our country of America. The blatant perversion that you see on your streets in terms of magazines and then in your home life on your televisions in germany and how all the young children in my opinion are overtly exposed prematurely is horrific. The struggle in Germany because of the socialism and no joke socialism, that’s my opinion you people are 80% jacked up in the head. Believe in God by chance? Let me take a guess? No!!!
I have a feeling she's only met the guys who go to bars... There's actually a large percentage of guys who are more committed to finding one person to have a long-term relationship with, but you won't find them at a bar.... A bar or club is a place where singles go to get laid... You are literally going to a place to get drunk and meet a stranger... You really expect a long-term partner?
In my experience you don't go to bars or clubs to meet strangers in germany, so maybe she got wrong exspectations for the USA. Here we go to have a nice relaxed evening with some friends not even hoping to find a potential partner, its more a bonding thing between friends. The club situation is a little different i think, but there are still a lot of people who just like to dance and have fun with their friends. But a club is where the most one night stands in germany come to be i guess.
As for things in China, I wanna say I also want many long term serious relationships before entering marriage. But in most cases, and in many people's values, you can have only one girl/boy at a time, otherwise you are an asshole.
I don't bullshit women. I say exactly what I think. If she is beautiful I will say so. But, if she looks like a mile (1.609km) of bad road i'll say that as well. Compliments doesn't mean as much if the person doesn't see you as honest.
I will buy dinner in a heart beat. But, since i understand most women want to contribute to the date I ask if she wants to leave the tip.
i would be really curious about a "discussion" with soldier of life from america, who is/was living in germany.
Here is a link to his youtube channel:
Great video! I'm an Eastern European living in Germany and had a really hard time with the unromantic Gemans here. Thank God I am not single 😊 If I'd be single again, I will move to America haha. To mee the most Germans are way toooo down to earth.
I agree with most of your video, albeit, it was full of
generalizations and pretty much about how wonderful dating is in Germany versus
how bad it is in America. One thing most Europeans don’t get is how large America
is in terms of population, geography and how different regions are, the extreme
diversity in terms of races and cultures that unless you have lived in America
for many years and in different locations, that anything you think is going to
be a gross generalization. I suspect the original intent of your video was not
to be critical of America, but that is how it came off in the end. What I find strange
is that there are so many Europeans YouTube videos critical of some aspect of
Americans and/or America, yet Europeans submit more VISA requests for the USA
than the rest of the world combined. That's an amazing and surprising statistic,
especially when you consider there is so much to dislike about America. - Btw,
your English is very good, better than some native speakers.
1:07 "how is it to date an american who is superficial and shallow..."
A lot of projection in that commenter's barb.
As for paying for the date, I probably asked you out, so yeah I'll pay. It was my idea. If it comes up during the date, I'll make my future expectations plain if I get the vibe there will be future dates. But I've been married now for 13 years so if I found myself ever having to date again, I'm sure some norms have changed. Chivalry is looking pretty dead (and yes, females have done their share in killing it. Just a piece of unsolicited advice to the ladies-- as a pretty successful guy who isn't ugly, I can assure you victimhood isn't attractive to the men you want to bag.)
Pls stop generalising about “America” - you might have a point or two about the middle west of the USA (and the stereotype Hollywood created life of white US-youngsters) but not about Argentina or all the other American regions and people. And by the way - how long will it take until you will have realised that squeezing in all the fancy words you eagerly learnt (as well as this wide fake and exaggerated smile while you talk) will not cover up that you are so German with this German accent and German attitude (“as more I repudiate that I am a typical neglected german daughter of busy and wealthy upper middle class parents from Munich and as more eager I am to assimilate because of my “exclusive” experiences in Ohio (!) which formed my coming of age as more authentic I am”). Sorry, all your german efforts only proof how unauthentic you are. Wish you more insights and to become more reflective about yourself. Still your video is informative besides revealing your questionable personality which may serve as a typical example. Hence my effort here.
Ohne den Zusatz das du hier daheim bist, hätte ich dich nicht als Deutsche (note: Fellow German here!) erkannt...mir selbst werfen die Leute oft vor das ich "tells" hätte die mich (trotz meines guten Englisch!) verraten...komisch das dies nur Deutsche sagen, natives erkennen mich meist nicht (hab's in England probiert als ich in Brighton die Used-Book-Shops abgeklappert habe (ich lese gerne englische Bücher und schaue Serien im Original) und mich von einem Laden zum nächsten durchgefragt habe :D (keiner von denen hat mich als Touristen "from the continent" erkannt...viele dachten ich sei Amerikaner :D (zuviele Serien geschaut, hm? :D )
Hm...auf nem Date alles bezahlen? Nein, danke! Ist für mich ein "Qualitätsfilter" - wenn die Dame nicht mal anbietet zu bezahlen, dann ist das für mich ein K.O.-Kriterium! Ich bin kein ATM - Ach unhöflich ist das, eine Frau nicht erst mal mit Geld und Geschenken zu überhäufen...nennt mich nen Arschloch wenn ihr wollt, aber irgendwie ist das schäbiges Verhalten (ich könnte auch sagen wie eine Prostituierte bzw. ein Escort-Girl oder eine Geisha, nur das bei der der Sex auch wirklich stattfindet und man nicht drauf hoffen muss und oft leer ausgeht, während Frau ihren Magen gefüllt bekam etc.!)! Ich sage nicht das aus einer Einladung Sex folgen muss, nur um das klar zu stellen - nur gar nicht erst Anstalten zu machen bezahlen zu wollen bzw. sich zu beteiligen? You are out, lady!
ps: Who's paying for that? My parents wouldn't have (they did for my sister, but then again: She's the girl, the pride and joy of the freaking family! I sometimes really hate her (no, I don't think it is her fault!))
There are plenty of true "good guys" in America that don't like to play games & don't have expectations of the girl, simply because they paid for the date... the primary reason American men will pay for the entire date, is the same reason why American men will hold the doors open for women... its a sign of respect, just as someone would hold a door open for a war-hero (veteran) or for the elderly, or for someone you look up to... its a sign of respect. If a woman is not secure enough to feel comfortable with this, then most good guys won't have a problem with letting the woman pay for her share (go 'Dutch').
As far as SEX being stigmatized in America, that part is 100% true, and is sad & unfortunate. The worst part is many in American society that seek to shame others for being "open" about sex, are some of the worst offenders (hypocrites) when it comes to sexual activity.
And just as there were some who were taught that abstinence is the only form of birth-control, others weren't taught anything at all about abstinence, like it wasn't even an option... America needs to get its head out of its own ass and start talking about these topics in the open, and remove the stigma, and educate people objectively, about all aspects of the topic.
Final thought, on being forward, in this day & age, it is perfectly acceptable for a man or a woman to approach someone they are interested in and show interest in the person. If you aren't comfortable enough with asking a perfect stranger out, at least go up & talk to them, introduce yourself, ask them their name, and explain why you approached them (being honest about it)... such as "you really caught my attention & I felt compelled to talk to you". You may find that they end up asking you out (or 'suggesting' that you two get together later.
And if you are sincere, there is no way they can get upset or be offended by this (unless they're just an idiot). And if you ask him/her out and they turn you down, that may suck (hurt), but that was practice for you, and a lost opportunity for them. So don't worry about it & keep looking for someone else you find interesting enough that you'd like to go on a date with them.
You can't approach women Europe. They are in love with their cell phones and they don't care about people outside of their tiny world. They are stuck up and if a random guy approaches them they either have a panic attack, they will be bored or just disinterested.
I noticed you keep saying that the American guys will complement you, but not mean it. That's, in my experience, not true at all. The thing is though, they do feel like they should complement you and so they search for something nice to say. If they say they like your hair or your eyes... they mean it... but they feel like they HAD to say something complimentary and often it comes across as insincere.
I'm from America... The people you are talking about are immature and idiotic. Parents ought to teach their kids about sex, I don't know where you went but schools do explain contrceptives (whoever you talked to probably didn't pay attention). Those games you mentioned are for immature fools.
The sex education stories I've heard from different people, mainly people who went to private (religious) schools, but the fact that that's actually a thing shocked me. Even if in most school they do have sex education.
Nichts was sich nicht ändern lässt. ;) Einfach anfangen alle Medien wenn möglich auf Englisch zu konsumieren, in Internetforen & Chats Kontakte über den großen Teich knüpfen, etwas Grammatik über einen Sprachkurs lernen, usw.
Klar, perfekt wird es dadurch nicht (das geht nur indem du wirklich Jahre im Ausland lebst), aber immer so gut, dass du alles verstehst und normale Unterhaltungen führen kannst.
Also, gib dir einen Ruck und pack es an. Von Nichts kommt eben auch nichts. ;) Viel Erfolg!
I was in America for a year on a High School Exchange year and I had sex education once. It was a 10th grade class and the guest Speaker that talked to us about it told us that abstinence is the only right way. Not once did he mention condoms or any other contraceptions or how to use it, he only told us how big the Chance was to get infected with STDs and threw a bunch of percentages at us. I asked around my friends a Little and about 80% didn't even know how to use a condom. Also, the County that I lived in was the one with the highest rate of infections of chlamydia and gonorrhea...
As a German I had sex education in 6th grade (well, I used to read BRAVO back then, so I knew stuff about sex before) and I really do believe that Americans should improve sex education a BIG lot.
I liked this video a lot! You are very accurate with almost everything you said. Your experiences in the United States are very similar to how it really is there. Ich habe in Freiburg studiert. Ich hatte ein Mädchen, das ich sehr möchte. Ich sagte ihr, dass ich finde sie wunderschön ist. It was an experience even though it was small. I have studied German for a few years now and I want to fluent one day. Vielen Dank wieder für dein Video. I learned a lot and will use this new knowledge. :)
Ok i will stay in america and be me with all the different cultures any way. No need to go to Europe! Why we have it all here. After all you are proof positive. I may see you on your retun trip! If i feel like it.
If you decide to ever stay in America for the long term...I recommend you stay in Cincinnati or the surrounding states. I am from the bay area (California) and here with the strong women's movement. Things can get out of hand quickly and that has lead San Francisco to one of the few big cities in America that has a large population of single women over 30's. It doesn't get any easier from there on out even with San Francisco having a large concentration of mostly male. It feels more like the women here has adopted the equality ideology and pushed to more of an extreme. Location can be a put off with many individuals here as well meaning if you live more than 30 mins away...chances are its not going to work out. From my personal experience, women in general from San Francisco do not put much effort into the dating scene especially when I tell them I am just across the bridge. The fact that I have to put so much effort each time in setting up dates that it just frankly isn't worth the effort. I've had so many positive experience with women from the Netherland and Britain that it just surprises me how easy going these women are compared to the many women of the bay area. We all have our own faults, but the game played in the dating scene isn't all that its cracked up to be. The only reason why it didn't work out for me is just my resistance to committing to a long term relationship otherwise I would have gotten married ASAP.
Dating world in America is a madness, most of the girls are incredibly superficial and the "commitment" part was so accurate. Is like go shopping, most of girls are afraid of love and looking for it at the same time 😳
One of the best things about traveling is to meet new people. We met through the Miss Travel app and were lucky enough to see our story develop way beyond the first dinner (which Jade still thinks was not a date, but it totally was). After traveling to Paris, Madrid, London and Chile together, we still maintain contact despite the thousands of miles which stand between us and both aspire to write the second chapter of our story. This type of experience is what makes life so worth living! The hotel, staff and service were all first class. The events were smoothly run with professionalism and more than enough food and drink for everyone.